Taking time off as an artist or freelancer
Having had the lurgy both before and after Christmas has been very frustrating. Plus I had pre-planned holiday time off for the festive period, so it was an extended absence from basically all adulting responsibilities!
However, all this illness and time away did have a little unexpected silver lining…
Taking time to stop and rest & watch the sunset
I had a long list of arty to dos, which I had to delay, including:
Applying for an exhibition
Sending out the last pet portrait commission of the year
Working on my website
Launching my snail mail club
But these things only (mostly) affect me, and any clients are generally very understanding with minor delays. However, it did remind me how very stressful it was when I was a full-time freelancer.
I used to juggle two main roles as a freelance broadcast journalist and producer, whilst being a single mum to two young girls. It was hard, in hindsight, with some shifts starting at 6am and others finishing at 7pm, but I think the energy of News and just getting up and ready to commute and be ‘on it’ from the beginning to the end of your shift keeps a fire going and you power through colds and sniffles…there were quite a few occasions where I’d have to read the news with a very husky voice! because there was a limited number of trained newsreaders in this particular radio station - and because, frankly, I couldn’t afford not to go in.
At the back of my mind, there was always the worry of: What if I’m sick and have to take time off - I won’t get paid? What if they give the shifts to someone else?…You start to feel you can’t say no and take on way too many hours. Plus you need to make sure you’re doing it all properly - like making sure to split your tax code, so you’re not getting taxed too much, ensuring shift patterns don’t clash and you’re leaving enough time in between for sleep etc etc.
So, on top of the radio work I started working evenings in the local pub after my girls had gone to bed, to build up a reserve pot…and all the while my main priority was making sure I was being the best mummy I could possibly be to my two (amazing!) girls.
Whenever I’m sick the pets insist on keeping me cosy.
She was very cute and kept me snuggled up in bed!
And when I moved down to the sofa, Nurse Cookie took over :)
When I have moments of regret about working funny hours when my girls were young, or that they undoubtedly saw me stressed at times! I remember that (a) they are completely fine and are balanced, intelligent, successful, kind young women now! and (b) they know, as they knew then, that women have to, and want to, work and that work is important - as is pursuing your passions.
I miss radio. I miss my old team, the banter, the parts of my brain that were used that I don’t really feel are used anymore. And I’ll probably go back in a smaller freelance capacity from time to time at some point.
But! I don’t miss the uncertainty of freelancing.
I’m so grateful now that I have a ‘normal’ job that allows me not only to choose my own hours, mostly, but one that doesn’t require a long commute and allows me time to work on my art and also spend quality time with my family - and perhaps most importantly, as it affects all the other things - statutory sick pay and holiday pay.
So, whilst I’ve felt the normal guilt and frustration that comes with taking time off, this extended period of leave has had an unexpected positive: The combination of forced rest through illness adjacent to the lovely, cosy end of year rest that comes with the Christmas break has helped me really tune in to my body and hear what it’s saying to me. And what it has been saying, simply, is: Rest. And, for the first time, perhaps ever, I have listened to it.
I’m not sure if it’s societal or comes from somewhere within - that guilt of taking time to just do nothing, or do what you want, or just take cues from the signals deep within you, but it’s taken till now (I turned 45 this year) to actually do this. I think powering through can help and mind-over-matter works to an extent, but sometimes you just need to stop.
I’m reminded of a quote I read recently - it’s by a counsellor called Debbie Robinson:
“Your body holds the map and our job is to trust it.
“Long before we learned to measure our worth in steps, tasks and productivity charts, the body was guiding us with a delicately attuned compass: the sensations in our chest, tummy, neck and back.
“Slow down enough to hear it and be curious about its stories. Let it show you what needs tending to, what needs releasing and what wants to grow.”
Yes a few things have been completed late - a couple of things were completely abandoned - but life goes on and things get done eventually.
So, I guess my message and tips to other artists and freelancers are:
Time and rest and wellbeing are more important than we often admit to ourselves, or even realise we’re lacking
Instead of working more and more and life becoming a total juggling act, see if there are small ways you can save money so that you don’t have to stress if you’re sick. I think there are ways to top up your income if needed though - the gov.uk website and Citizens Advice are really helpful
Remember to nurture all the parts of your life. Work is just a part of it
Connect with other freelancers and, if you work from home, find a co-working/third place/cafe where you’ll find others like you to either connect with or (if you’re like me) work alongside in amiable silence!
Scheduling - this is a whole other blog! But the best way I found for keeping sane when freelancing was having a wall calendar plus personal diary with my work shifts blocked out, but also downtime very distinctly blocked out - keep it sacred! We’re more likely to actually take time to relax when we’re rushing though the day/week/months if there’s a giant yellow rectangle spanning an hour ordering you to ‘Chill’…I treat my calendar as a timetable just like we had in the backs of our school planners when we were young. I block off breaks and actually go do things that are good for my body and soul - a walk, a phone call, a catnap, a video game…
On that note…I have the last few chapters of my audiobook to listen to whilst I do some non-work and non-art related journaling !
(If you’re interested in reading the full article by Debbie, you can find it in the January edition of the free magazine Dorset Living, or online here.
I actually kept it and stuck it in my commonplace journal as it really resonated with me.)